October 4, 2022


𝕽𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕 𝕬𝖋𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖘

Is it bad to want someone so badly?

Unfortunately, many of us tend to experience this very phase in our lives, that undying urge of wanting someone really badly, perhaps an ex or a crush. But at times it gets heartbreaking when someone you want so badly doesn’t want you back the way you do.

Alright, there’s this amazing couple that everyone love, I mean, they fit perfectly in every way you can think of, they were perfect. His name being Raymond and her’s Chloe. But unfortunately, Chloe wasn’t really the perfect woman you thought of, cos she was rude and harsh to him and at times she shouts and makes fun of him open in the streets. She has broken up with him couple of times but ends up coming back to him and at that moment she apologizes he forgives and accepts her back instantly cos he couldn’t imagine life without her. I mean literally this dude would die with the thought of loosing her. And so she promises him alot of things, she promises to be the perfect girlfriend he imagined and promised to always accept him back no matter what and then fate steps in to test if she actually meant what she said. He had an internship with a company over the state and traveled over there for a couple of six months. The first few months seemed okay for the both of them but then, the work he had became so intense that he hardly calls her to meet up with deadline. A week passed and she finally decides to call him, he picked up and was so happy in hearing from the love of his life but her tone shocked him as she shouted and called him all sort of things. “Your so wicked and heartless”, she raged out as Raymond stood speechless trying to figure out what actually went wrong. “You didn’t even care to check up on me for a whole damn week, you crook, you know what?, They were all right bout you, I’m sure your currently sleeping around with those little whores over there and I don’t care cos I’m tired of this shithole.” He tries speaking up but was rebuked by her harsh tone as she cuts the call on him. And at that moment he decides to call back, his boss calls him to handle a project immediately which prevents him from calling her back. He finally gets time to call her as he hasn’t been himself since the call, his heart raced with his mind spinning, he couldn’t get himself to focus. She picks the call. “Baby girl, I’m really sorry for getting you upset but honestly you have to hear me out. I didn’t mean to…” “You didn’t mean to do what?, You cheat.” She hissed and and turned down the call. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he wanted to go home so badly for his mind and soul was no longer at the place he worked. He called again and this time around he begged her with everything within him. ” Hey babe, I’m really sorry okay?, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, you took it wrongly, please forgive me”, she chuckled. “You know what, save your apologies cos I don’t want this anymore, I’m tired of being worried about you, I’m just tired okay. “, His heart couldn’t afford bearing the pain as he broke into tears begging her, he would die if he lost her. But she switched off the phone leaving him in an unpleasant state. He hurriedly packed his things and went straight home without completing his internship. But as he reached home, her things were gone as he stood not knowing what to do. He ran out to the streets and pushed his luck in searching for her, acting like one who just lost his mind. He ran back to his phone as he tried reaching her but it seemed like he got blocked by her. He decides buying another sim and calls her. She picks. “Hey! “, he sniffs as he tries controlling his tears. “Please babe, don’t leave me like this, I need you now more than ever, remember the promise we made to each other about sticking to each other’s side no matter what, I’m back home now to stay, please come back to me babe!, I’m literally gonna die without you please!, I need you badly.” He cries out. “I’m sorry Raymond, whatever we had was a mistake which I regret, please don’t call me ever again”, The call ended as Raymond rages out breaking things in his apartment. His best friend happens to come in at that moment seeing him in such suicidal manner, he rushed up to him and got a hold of him. “I know how many times she left me and ran coming back man, I forgave her for all the embarrassments, for all the public shaming and altitudes she threw at me cos I loved her so much that I didn’t care what she did to me. I gave her my all man, I gave her my all, now this one time I actually get to mess up, she ends everything, she promised me man, she promised to always give our relationship a second chance.” he cries out the more as he hugs his best friend.

After a year, he still has this urge of wanting her back in his life, he never stopped loving her, even when he tried reaching out, she doesn’t reach out back and it only got to hurt him the more. And so, he finally gets to move on with his life with his bestfriend by his side to support him.

Here’s a truth most of you find it hard to accept, no matter how hard you love someone with a hobby of hurting you, you can never change them for who they are, cos they claim they love you when they are actually lusting, cos lust and love have the same feeling, the only difference between them is lust doesn’t care about your feelings. I mean those are signs that your in a really toxic relationship that won’t go anywhere no matter how hard you try cos frankly the little chance they get to prove their love for you, they use it to discard you as though the moments you guys shared meant nothing to them. It is absolutely normal to want someone badly especially an ex due to the love you had for them, but people change, perhaps they never loved you the same way you did. And the shocking painful part is, they are sometimes the ones that make all the heartfelt promises about sticking by your side for better for worst, but they leave you in pieces when you need them the most. They tend to forget everything you guys shared as though it meant nothing, they never consider in giving the relationship a second chance. But look, you don’t have to kill yourself over someone who derives joy in hurting you. Your so special and unique that people out there are willingly to love you the way you are. Sometimes all you need to do is give them the middle finger and walk away cos clearly you deserve better. You all know I love you so much. Never let someone hurt you, it’s better to walk away and never looking back than living in life of bondage. At some point you feel the urge of wanting them back but you can shut those feelings up whenever they come. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

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